The birthday of the world

Here we go, into the new (Jewish) year--5775.  Rosh HaShannah at the local synagogue was good--a smaller turn-out than last year when the holiday fell during Labor Day week and we appear to have had a number of "summer" people who stayed over and attended services.  But services were good and I found them meaningful.  On the second day, David and I were invited to lunch at the home of the former treasurer and her husband, whom we've begun to get to know and already like very much.  It was a big crowd, probably 75% of those who attended services on the second day, but hamish and much delicious food.  Now we turn toward Yom Kippur, which this year comes on a Saturday.  Perhaps that will bring out a larger crowd; who knows.  The synagogue will have a Break Fast, but I don't think I'll attend.  I find I need to go home and revive privately.

Two weeks ago the visiting rabbi came for Shabbat and on Friday night suggested we use poetry to dig into the meaning of the holidays.  He invited us to bring favorite poems or our own poems, and I brought a poem I wrote many, many years ago when I lived in New York.  Since I left New York in 1992, the poem must be at least 25 years old, probably more.  It arose from my surprise at finding that although during the year, synagogue Shabbat services would be attended by some number of people - perhaps 75-100, depending on what was going on - for the High Holidays (Rosh HaShannah and Yom Kippur), Jews would seem to come out of the woodwork and we might have 1,500 people attending services.  Here is the poem:

The Year Yom Kippur Came on Wednesday
 
we tumble from our beds our bellies growling
feet tramping through the halls and down
the stairs in canvas shoes so odd a match with

our best suits and bright skirts we dribble out to

sidewalks join in rivulets and merge in streams to

rush and pour into our sanctuaries where we stand

and sit and stand and fast as fast as hours pass in

prayer and penitence we beat our breasts confessing

lists of sins when we're not slipping out and in and

out again to catch the latest word on who's been

born and who passed on this year still finding time

to stir the lost sweet ache to weep to watch the

chazzan throw himself upon the floor become

a waterfall a woman's sobs white shredded clouds

in steeped blue skies each note a shard that

tears our hearts above our bended knees

at last the shofar blast we bow we leave to drink to eat
to laugh to weep to live and die again as
one by one each of us a single sheep passes by Him
unaware of what a miracle the Shepherd sees this Wednesday

October 12th will be the second anniversary of our move to Maine.  Every day I am happy we made that decision, my morning walks with Ella are a gift.  One recent morning:

May each person and every living thing on our world be sealed in the book of life for peace, for health, for prosperity in the year to come.  I have a feeling that would be okay with God--it's just us human beings that are likely to have an issue with it.  Still hope will not let go.  Stubbornly it sinks its frail roots into dry worn-out soil and hangs on, even in the face of the coming winter.  (300,000 people marched in New York City to warn of the perils of climate change.  When is the last time 300,000 people marched in this country for anything?) 

So, Happy Birthday, World.
If not us, who?  If not now, when?
Peace, peace, far and near.

So...

So ... I haven't posted lately because my computer is having troubles... again.  Same issue that came up around July 4th holiday weekend, being locked out and being told the password I enter isn't right.  Last time I called Apple Support and they walked me through sort of re-booting the system.  I haven't had time, or energy, to go through my personal desk to see if I (hopefully) took notes on the steps they walked me through.  If I didn't, my choices will be 1) calling Apple again (which means waiting on the phone 20-30 minutes and then, likely this time, paying money) or 2) taking the laptop to a local computer place, which also means money (and probably time).  There's a place around the corner from us that says it is an authorized Mac service place.  I just have been too demoralized to deal with it.  Since my iPod still works, I can see my personal email there; listen to music (at least the music already on the iPod) and listen to podcasts (which still automatically download).

Then this morning, I used David's computer to log on to my personal email (needed to use his computer just so I could capture a URL from eBay to send it to someone) and after I did that, he had problems logging in to eBay, so now I'm stressed that I somehow screwed up his computer.

But the bottom line is - f**king technology is taking over our lives, we come to "need" it and depend on it and get stressed and strung out if we can't use it when we want it.  Yesterday I got a marketing call from Time Warner, our internet, home phone and cable TV provider.  The woman wanted to tell me about a new "package" that would deliver "hundreds of movies" to me for just another $8 or $10 a month.  "I don't watch movies" I told the woman.  "Well, the package includes other entertainment options..." "I don't much care for 'entertainment,' I told her, "I barely care for Time Warner Cable."  So she gave up. 

That's the goal for next year, I think, when our "discounted" (if you can call it that) price for Time Warner's "triple play" package (internet, phone and cable tv---which was actually "cheaper" than buying only internet and phone) expires - get rid of cable TV, get rid of home phone (get MagicJack) and keep only internet from Time Warner (unless a better option comes along).

My next door neighbor doesn't have a computer.  She doesn't have internet.  She doesn't have cable TV.  She reads a lot.  She gardens.  She's not technologically illiterate.  At work she uses a computer, the Internet.  She watches movies on DVDs from the library.  She is a civilized person and, perhaps, my role model.

So that's what's going on.  I'm squeezing in this posting using another computer.  My next post may not be until my own laptop is repaired.  I am off to Connecticut next week for work and a check-up with my oncologist.  So I may not have time to deal with the computer until I return.

But don't worry.  I am here.  Ella and I continue to enjoy morning walks.  Fall is coming.  It makes Ella frisky. There is crispness in the air.  Northern and interior Maine have frost warnings in the evening.  Yesterday morning I forgot to bring Ella's ball with us on our walk. Down by the water where we stop and I usually throw the ball for her to chase, there's a pear tree. So I threw pears that had fallen on the ground, and Ella chased and returned them to me. What I found interesting was that she barely scratched the skin of the pear. A soft mouth. 

Rosh HaShannah - the Jewish New Year - approaches - the birthday of the world.  The day on which our tradition says that each of us, in fact, each living thing, the whole world, is judged for life... or for... 

I hope God is in a good mood, feeling lenient and more optimistic about humanity that I feel these days.  Otherwise, we may be in trouble...

Peace.

At dawn, shouts of joy...

One may lie down weeping at nightfall,

            but at dawn there are shouts of joy. (Psalm 30)

Maybe there is something wrong with me (well, okay, there certainly is something wrong with me, but I mean one specific thing).  I seem to have an almost irrepressible drive to wake up each morning and feel ... happy ... even joyous.  Given the state of the world, given the suffering - war, poverty, racism, violence, sexism, disease, hunger - I feel guilty about this, a shallow and self-involved person.  Over the course of a day, the weight of the world comes back, pulls me to it, and the pain and outrage vibrates.  But in the morning...

... joy!

In the meantime, August flies by.

My friend Cyndy and her sister-in-law Pam stopped by for a quick visit.  (Cyndy and I worked together at SNET beginning in 1996 when I moved from Atlanta to Connecticut the first time, until 1998, when I moved back South - gosh, so long ago! - and have stayed in touch ever since, even with Cyndy's move to Florida.) The three of us visited the Rockland breakwater and walked around "downtown" Rockland.  It was good to see her.  Cyndy even made some noises about finding a summer home up here in Maine when she retires in a few years.  I say to ALL my friends:  Come on up!

One wonderful thing that has been happening lately is my grandson, Cachao's, calls.  Starting a couple of months ago he began calling me to tell me he had finished another book in the series he is writing called "Captain Booger."  Those who are parents or grandparents of young ones will hear the echo in that title of the smash hit children's series called "Captain Underpants."  Cachao has been reading that series for several years, but about a year ago he began creating his own series.  Each book is between 10 and 25 pages, with text and drawings.  On yesterday's call, Cachao read me book number 40, the first of "season 6" of the series.  Of course, over the phone I miss the drawings.  But the sound effects - the title of "season 6" is "In Space" - were outstanding!  Anyway, it is just lovely to have the home phone ring, answer it and hear my grandson's voice.  And besides reading his own creations, we chat about other things, too.  I expect to talk to him again this weekend.  The littler guy, Cello, also likes to "talk" on the phone, although I wouldn't really call the experience a "conversation" but I like to hear his voice.  And I need to pay attention, because in a blink of an eye he'll be as big as Cachao is now! (Cello is 3, Cachao is almost 8.)

Meanwhile I'm thinking about news from family and friends, which is ... like most of life I guess ... up and down.  Up - a dear young man I know, Joseph, has been offered a very good job in his field with a very good organization.  It restores my faith in the ability to have hope about young people's futures in today's world.  Down - a good friend here lost her job, and not that long after receiving a promotion.  It was a case, I think, of the management not realizing that they had promoted to management an ethical person who would actually take her job seriously and do what was right.  Apparently that was problem for them.  But to be without a job again when one is closing in on 60, to be a single parent with a mortgage ... it must be gut wrenching, particularly at a certain stage of life.  Up - my daughter tells me she found a "job," definitely not a career but it will pay something and money coming in offsets money going out.  It is one step toward the future she so dearly desires (and deserves).

Summer is not lingering in mid coast Maine - which is actually fine with me.  The nights have been cool (50's), the days mild to warm to occasionally very warm (80's), but the spiral down to fall is now apparent.  Trees have begun coloring and dropping leaves.  First to go brown seems to be the Horse Chestnut, which I recall was the very first to bear green in the spring.  But also other trees.  Here's the first red leaves on a maple around the corner:

So heading into September on Monday - also Labor Day - here's a taste of what's happening around here:

• Donuts, Coffee, Conversation, Fridays, 9 a.m. Spectrum Generations Knox Center, Rockland. $1.
• Qi Gong at Thomaston Academy, Fridays, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Chinese exercise for all ages. FMI: 354-2453.
• Free Pole Dancing Classes, Fridays, 5:30 p.m., through August, Studio V, 407 Main St., Rockland. FMI: 941-718-0847.
• Fellowship of the Spirit Step Study Group, Saturdays, 7-8 a.m., St. Margaret's Church, 95 Court St., Belfast. FMI: 505-5266.
• Meditation Group, Saturdays, 7-8 a.m., Belfast Dance Studio, 109 High St.

It is hard to decide what to choose - coffee and donuts sounds good, but free pole dancing classes?  Maybe I'll go meditate on the question and if I can't decide, join the spirit step study group to know myself better first.

Peace.

Hands up! Don't shoot!

Ferguson, Missouri - why does a city of 70,000 people need a police force with tanks and automatic rifles?   A city that is 60% black with a white mayor and 1 black person on the city council.  Oh, maybe that's why tanks and automatic rifles are needed.  Who can imagine a scenario in which an 18 year old white man would have been shot 6 times in the same circumstances - cops stopping 2 young white man walking down the middle of the street, leading to leaving one lying dead in his own blood on the street?    But, wait, hear all the voices - including Obama's - telling (black) people to calm down, to protest peacefully, violence never helps.  Someone should have told that to the cop that shot down Michael Brown.  Oh, wait, that's what Dr. King said before Selma, 50 years ago.  Oh, wait, Dr. King was shot down.  Remember Watts?  Remember Rodney King?  Remember Treyvon Martin?  

And then there is the Islamic State fka ISIS, Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.  Forced conversions to Islam or summary executions.  Selling women and children into slavery - in 2014.  

How did that "women's cigarette" brand used to advertise itself?   Virginia Slims - you've come a long way, baby!  Oh, we human beings have come a long way, ain't we baby cakes?  We used to burn people at the stake if they would not convert to Christianity.  We used to kidnap black people, lock them in the bellies of ships and sell them into slavery in the "new" world.  We used to occupy people's homeland, wipe them out, and then "negotiate" a "settlement" granting them a "reservation".  We used discriminate against people of color, against women, against gay people.   But we're way past all that now, aren't we?  Well done, human race.  God must be very happy with us these days.

That's all I have to say today, except:

"It is not incumbent upon you to complete the work, but neither are you at liberty to desist from it" (Avot 2:21) - Rabbi Tarfon.  

Wage peace.  

Summertime

Summertime, and the  living continues to be stressful.  

When I thought things at work could not be more stressful... well, let's just say, I was wrong.  I think the bottom line is that I have never learned how in the corporate environment to lay low, play games, suck up when necessary, and generally maneuver "politically" to put protecting my own (ample) butt ahead of all else.  I've never been good at that, even when it would have benefited me.  I tend to treat all people as people, rather than worrying about who is important and who not, whose bony or other ass needs to be kissed, and whose can be ignored.   I tend to think other people operate the same way.  The result - again and again I am surprised when people are willing to stab each other in the back to get an advantage or will deflect a justified criticism (oh, sorry, I should have said "will fail to take advantage of a growth opportunity") by making a personal attack.  I suppose this is a "growth opportunity" for me - to model myself after those around me so that finally, before I "retire," I too can learn to contribute by looking after number one first and always.  That may be one new trick this old dog doesn't want or just is not able to learn.  As a result, I finally do see the end of my corporate "career" in sight in the not distant future - depending on other local job possibilities, finances, etc.  I'm not sure what will come next for me or exactly when.  But life is too short to spend it like this.

Better news:  

Our friend Jon visited from California.  Once he shared his personal history of being dragged out on boats by his family where he hung over the rail and barfed, we avoided boats.  But we had a good albeit short visit - we went (for me, back) to the Farnsworth Museum, took a walk on the Rockland Breakwater, drove up Mt. Battle to see the view, shared several good meals at local restaurants, and enjoyed just catching up.  Yesterday I learned that our friend Cyndy, formerly from Connecticut and now from Florida, may come to visit toward the end of August.  Something to look forward to.  (By the way, thanks to Cyndy and others who encouraged me to keep up this blog.)

The weather has been alternately hot followed by rain followed by a typical Maine summer day followed by more hot, more rain, etc.  The garden has generally thrived from this but our radishes were a bust.  I think I failed to thin them soon enough and then let them grow too "woody".  The carrots are looking  very robust, but we haven't pulled any yet.  The grape tomatoes planted in the raised bed are thin and feeble looking. We've had a few tomatoes from them, but the plants just didn't do well.  My neighbor Melissa says Japanese beetles have been a problem for her tomatoes, so maybe for mine, too.  The one grape tomato plant I put in separately over by the side of the house is thriving.  The jalapeño peppers are finally coming in.  We've been eating cucumbers from our garden.

Locally - we made it through the Maine Lobster Festival and this weekend, the Boat, Home and Something or Other show.  We skipped the Lobster Festival and went to the Boat show  yesterday.  Best thing was a local Ukulele band that had a repertoire of 1400 songs.  You could request a song by name or call out a number.  In addition to ukuleles, their instruments included an electric bass guitar, drums (including congo drums), an electric stand-up banjo bass, a saw, a kazoo, a flute, and more that I forget.  Tonight we may go kayaking off the coast with a group in a "super moon" paddle.

Meanwhile, here's what's coming up locally - if you don't have equally exciting happenings where you live, why don't you come up and join us:

• Talk by Hope Elephants Director, 1 p.m., St. Andrews Village, Boothbay Harbor. Andrew Stewart talks about the threats elephants face in the wild. Free, space limited; RSVP: 633-0920.

• Insect Walk in Edgecomb, 1-2:30 p.m., Singing Meadow Preserve, Cross Point Road. Join entomologist Clay Kirby for an entertaining stroll in search of singing insects. FMI: bbrlt.org or 633-4818.

• "The Truth About Bats," 5 p.m., Project Puffin Visitor Center, 311 Main St., Rockland. Expert Annie Kassler gives the slidetalk about our winged allies and their critical place in the planet's ecology and global economies. With wine and cheese. Reservations: 596-5566.

• "Race, Violence, and Friendship: Mississippi, 1964 and 2014," 7 p.m., Jackson Memorial Library, Tenants Harbor. Talk by David Riley and members of his family about Freedom Summer, its voter registration drives and a reunion of activists.

Actually, this may be the most quintessentially Maine event in the Free Press this week:

Quilt Whisperer" Gives Workshop, Sat., Aug. 16, 2 p.m., Federated Church, Hyler St., Thomaston. Bonnie Dwyer shows more than 25 from her collection and explains how to determine age and care for quilts. Bring your own for her to identify. Free.

Or maybe not, maybe this one:

"How to Kill a Zombie," Fri., Aug. 15, 7 p.m. The Maine-made action-comedy makes its debut at Flagship Cinemas in Thomaston, and continues through Thurs., Aug. 21, at 1 and 7 p.m. daily. Actors from the film will attend the 7 p.m. showing Sat., Aug. 16, and participate in a Q&A after the screening.

Peace.  Soon.  Please.

Things that matter

I don't even know how to write about the past  weeks since I last wrote - and even before, since my last trip to Connecticut.  The overarching shadow over all has been stress:  stress at work, stress about taking on the treasurer role at the synagogue, stress about my daughter's life and stress about the plight of the world.

I think I may have been made gun shy about posting to (or at least about what I post to) this "blog"  during my last visit to Connecticut.  While I sat with friends one evening, personal "blogs" came to be the subject of some gentle mocking by friends.  Of course, I don't think the friends' intention was to mock me specifically - several didn't even know about this "blog" -  but nonetheless, the ribbing made me look and think with a more critical (and hesitant) eye at posting here.

I don't think I've been a poster of "I got up, and had this and this for breakfast, went to the grocery store, took a shower, ate lunch..." type posts - but on the other hand, what if I have on occasion?  Perhaps I need to remind myself that although I am pleased if/when any friends (or even others) read anything I've posted here, my main purpose for writing here is for myself (and perhaps, someday, for my children and grandchildren).  This so-called "blog" has never aimed to provide highfalutin spiritual, political or ideological commentary on the meaning of life nor is it based on the belief that anyone - even me - is interested in documenting a daily/hourly journal of my daily thoughts or activities.  

When I began here, I wanted to record what it felt like to uproot my life (yet again)  and move to a new place, and specifically THIS place - a  city of 7,500 on the coast of a largely uninhabited state (all of Maine has 1,500,000 residents; Queens, NY had more than that; even Connecticut - a much smaller state - had about 4,000,000 people), to own a house for the first time since 1977, to join a new Jewish community,  living with David, putting down roots - real roots - for the first time in my entire life, growing old here and facing whatever the rest of life brings.

If giving a sense of life here gives rise to smiles - well, good, can't we all laugh more?  For example, another example of a sequence of events from this week's Free Press calendar of events:

 •  Mutt Scrub in Boothbay Harbor, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., Two Salty Dogs, 22 Mc-Kown St. DJ Meow Meow hosts a doggie talent show at 1 p.m. Doggie Musical Chairs at noon and 2 p.m. Dog washing, raffles, treats for humans and dogs, nail trimming and face painting. Donations go to Lincoln County Animal Shelter.
• "Unleashing God: Ezekiel and the Northern Lights," 3-4:30 p.m., Old Professor's Bookshop, 99 Main St., Belfast. The free presentation is given by the Old Professor himself.
• "Front Porch and Log Cabin: The Presidents' Homes and the Presidential Image," 2 p.m., Rockland Library. Architectural historian Esley Hamilton gives the free presentation.

Perhaps conveying some idea of what it feels like to live here - like this - walking Ella at just after sunrise, through thick Maine fog.

And always, if my eyes are open, finding beauty in small things - like the dawn sun on the water, turning it golden, a flock of ducks zigging through the glowing sea, another day beginning, breathing deep, and finding hope:

Peace.

Foggy morning, vacation over...

Not a lot of time to write this morning, so I will just post some photos from our "vacation" days and the visit of the Benjamin's.  Then back to work.

 Light house at Point Clyde from where we took the ferry to Monhegan Island.

Along the way, the ferry captain slowed down so we could see Harbor Seals sunning themselves.

View from the hill on which the Monhegan Lighthouse stands, looking down at the harbor, Mañana Island behind the harbor.  The large building is the Monheban Inn.  We had lunch there.  Delicious fish tacos, spinach salad and portabello mushroom "burger".

 The Monhegan Lighthouse.

We hiked across the island (which is one square mile, but has 12 miles of trails) to the cliffs on the eastern side.  Here's the view.  Pretty spectacular.

On the cliffs, we had a visitor - this gull who plucked up some grass and seemed to want to trade it for a bite of granola bar.

Several places on the island had do-it-yourself "bulletin boards" like this, announcing events.  It is useful to know that one can find a meditation group, a yoga class, ultimate Frisbee game, inter-denomination worship, and chili contest.

 Leaving Monhegan, this is the entrance to the harbor.

And Monhegan fades into the foggy distance.

A good day.

Peace.