Random spring thoughts

It's hard to say here in a few words what's been happening and what's been on my mind.  Not because so much  has happened (or even been on my mind), but if you let time slip by,  like a river, your memories and thoughts have rushed by.

Today is Cinco de Mayo.  Even in Maine.  I believe there are commemorations in Augusta and Portland, at least.  Apparently Maine like states in the west and southwest, now brings in Mexican farmworkers to work in the blueberry fields and other crops.  And some of the workers have elected to stay in Maine.  Not many yet.  But I recall when Georgia was 52% African-American and 47.55 white and .5% "other."  Now Georgia has a significant Hispanic population.  From what I can tell, housing and food are less expensive in Maine; depending on the town, property tax can be higher; gas is high; fuel oil is high (a lot (a lot!) of people still use wood stoves here; Lowe's and Home Depot sell a lot of log splitters - do-it-yourself log splitting!  And even people who use fuel oil or propane, often have a wood stove as a backup.  We've considered it, but if we did that, it would probably be a pellet stove.)  At any rate, I look forward to seeing more and more diversity in Maine!

Today is also the day the city is picking up yard waste, meaning pruned branches and leaves (which must be bagged).  We've had such lousy weather - seemingly every other day rain - and I unusually busy, so that I did not get to as much in our yard as last year.  I did cut back the forsythia, the beach rose, and the hydrangea.  But not the already overgrown bush/trees at the back of the property.

I did not win the local library's poetry contest; I did not even receive an honorable mention.  Oh well.  I admit I did not work hard at the poem I submitted this year; I like it very much, but I do not think it "fit" the library's "topic" in the way that they likely wished entries to do.  The results were announced and the winning poems read while I was out of town - on my trip to Connecticut.

The trip was good - also a whirlwind during which it seemed I ate too many meals in too many restaurants.  But my CT scan results were good - that's 4 years!  365 days (now down to 335?) to reach that important 5 year milestone.  A co-worker in my group - the 1 person in the group who has been there longer than I - announced her (early) retirement.  Good for her; a little stressful for those of us remaining, as there is already too much work.  Hopefully they'll replace her quickly.

My daughter's been struggling through the ups and downs of a new job in a far-away place - the Philippines.  It's always hard to learn life lessons, even in the best of circumstances, but far from family and friends, in challenging circumstances and in the midst of work that one feels is important - even harder.

My ex and his partner are off on a 3+ week jaunt through (mostly) Italy, although I understand an incorrectly purchased ticket serendipitously took them on a short visit to Switzerland.  The email and Facebook postings suggest a good time is being had, which both of them really really deserve.

I am drawn more and more into the inner workings of the local synagogue, as I have been asked to agree to be the new treasurer.  I turned down the request the first time I was asked, but when I was asked again, I finally agreed - on a short-term basis only, making it clear that 2 years is all I will commit to.  The annual meeting at which I will be nominated and, presumably, elected, has yet to happen, but already I am drawn in to multiple meetings and some synagogue politics.  What is it about we human beings?  I know they say "2 Jews, 3 opinions" but I think it is human nature.  Sometime ago, NPR's website ran a column inviting people to post Six Word Philosophies - saying in 6 words, your philosophy toward life.  I quoted Rodney King (do you remember Rodney King?  How quickly we do forget!):  "Can't we all just get along?"

My car is unhappy.  I don't know exactly what ails it, but I've had it a long time and I sense that something is bothering it.  (When the engine is warm, it ... runs unevenly; I guess that's as specific as I can be.)  This troubles me because I am flying to Atlanta on Thursday (for my younger grandson's 3rd birthday on Friday), and that means a 90 mile drive to the Portland airport (and, of course, a 90 mile drive home next Monday evening).  Worrying about the car has put a damper on my  anticipation for the visit to my son, daughter-in-law and grandsons.  I was able to get non-stop flights, which is great - after a 1-1/2 hour or more drive, it's not fun to look forward to an airport layover, running with luggage to get to another gate, etc.  If I can solve the car problem, I know I'll have a wonderful visit.

Last week was my first week in a 6-week T'ai Chi course through a local community organization and my first week in a 6-week beginner ukulele course at the Bay City Chamber Music building in Rockport, the same course/teacher that David finished not long ago.  He's now taking intermediate ukulele a different night.  I liked both classes.  I found the T'ai Chi more physically demanding than I recall it having been in Connecticut.  But that's good.

David's permanent part-time job was finally made full-time.  That's good for several reasons - money, earning vacation - but also physically demanding.  By this time last year, David was working full-time as a seasonal employee, but Lowe's also had a permanent part-time person so there were 2 people doing the job he's now doing by himself.  Supposedly they have made an offer to someone for a seasonal job.  Meanwhile, it's taking a lot out of him.

So that's what's going on.  Otherwise on my mind:

• my co-worker's retirement - making me feel how close and far away my own is;
• CT scan results and a dear friend's brother's cancer diagnosis
• snipping and snapping among coreligionists - being a Jew, what an "interfaith" couple means when neither person has "faith";
• a hail storm yesterday and Ella cowering in a tiny space between the couch and the radiator;
• racism in America, how Sterling was left undisturbed for decades and now there's so much self-righteousness;
• governmental intrusion, Guantanamo, what a disappointment Obama is;'
• reading "Junkyard Planet" - being reminded that in the "reduce, reuse, recycle" mantra, we have yet to begin to touch "reduce";
• aging - how you can reach your seventh decade without feeling "old," as if "old" is a soccer ball you keep kicking out in front of you as you move through life - I'm not "old" yet, not yet, not yet...
• a gaggle of teenage girls on the street this morning, chattering away, waiting for the bus - probably 15 year olds - me thinking how they will be my age in 2065!  And I'll be dust.  

What sound and fury we human beings make of of this thing called life.
Peace.

Spring ... springing!

Mr. and Mrs. American Goldfinch came to visit:

And in a neighbor's yard, crocuses are lifting little purple heads:

Last night, for David's birthday (today) The Carolina Chocolate Drops - excellent.  

Today, rain.  Cleaning, cooking.

Tomorrow night, seder - can we human beings move from every kind of slavery into freedom?  Let us work that it shall be so, soon, even in our lifetimes.

Peace.

It's raining, wind blowing

It's raining, windy, about 40 degrees.  True Maine spring day. I've been sitting in the kitchen on the small rocking chair we put there, looking through the rain splattered window.  Outside is the raised bed, naked soil except for that hardy thyme plant that seems to have survived.  Behind that, the bird feeders on each corner of the sagging garage.  No birds this wet morning.  Yet.  

The other day I was sitting here on a sunny morning, watching Mourning Doves hunt through the grass, House Sparrows make their round trips from the honeysuckle vines on the corner of the house to the garage feeder and back, again and again and again.

I was thinking how happy I am to be here, to have managed finally to do this - buy this old small house in a small town in Maine and move here.  I was thinking how I wish I could have done this a long time ago.  I was wondering how it affected my children that instead of growing up in a house, their own home, with a (albeit small) yard, in a small town, near the ocean, instead they grew up, at least from when they came to live with me in NYC, in a city of 10 million.  I think it made them strong in some ways, and opened them up to the diversity of human beings.  But they missed out on things, too.  I'm sorry for that.  I like to think that even living in an apartment, Sam is living in a neighborhood where his kids are getting some of what I'm talking about.  But I hope he and Melina can buy a house while the boys are still boys, and while he and Melina can enjoy it for a good part of their own lives, too.

Still, the feelings I've had are not just about owning a house; they are also about moving here, to this town, to this place, where things are ... smaller, slower, less frantic, less stressed.  There are still problems - we have homelessness, including homeless kids! - and a hell of a lot of poverty, and drug and alcohol addiction - but at least these problems are taking place on a smaller scale within a less frenetic environment where the actions of people seem to have a better chance of having an impact.

I bought the "New Collected Poems" of Wendall Berry lately and in them is the following poem, which I take liberty to reproduce here with thanks to Mr. Berry and the book's publisher, Counterpoint, in honor of April being Poetry Month, and in honor of Wendall Berry himself.  This poem speaks to me so deeply and to what I felt for so many years before I moved here:

The Thought of Something Else

    By Wendell Barry

             1

A spring wind blowing

the smell of the ground

through the intersections of traffic,

the mind turns, seeks a new

nativity – another place,

simpler, less weighted

by what has already been.

Another place!

Ii’s enough to grieve me –

that old dream of going,

of becoming a better man

just by getting up and going

to a better place.

            2.

The mystery.  The old

unaccountable unfolding.

The iron trees in the park

suddenly remember forests.

It becomes possible to think of going.

            3.

a place where thought

can take its shape

as quietly in the mind

as water in a pitcher,

or a man can be

safely without thought

see the day begin

and lean back,

a simple wakefulness filling

perfectly

the spaces among the leaves.

* * * * *

So here I am at last, in my own space among the leaves - which will come back soon.  Already they push their buds through the wet bare branches.  The willow tree glows palely yellow in the morning light.  

Peace.

Mud, boats and birdsong

Spring must be coming.  There's no more dirty icy slushy "snow" on our front "lawn" - although calling it a "lawn" is some exaggeration - mud has made its appearance, and on our walk on Friday Ella and I saw the first schooner pulled out of the water down at Ulmer's Point to prepare her for launching.  She was still covered in shrink-wrap (yes, the boatyard has 3 meter wide rolls of plastic wrap and they shrink-wrap boats before the winter) but it won't be long now.

I was looking at photos from last spring and the first boat to be pulled out of the water was in March.  So maybe spring really is coming later this year, and it's not just that it feels like winter will never end.  Here's photo from last year of the same boat I mentioned above as the first to be hauled out this year:

David and I went to hear the first Poetry Month event at our local library last Thursday night.  4 local poets.  I liked two of them quite a bit, one somewhat, and one not so much, although part of the issue was having trouble hearing him (not the whole issue, though; he seemed to be one of those poets who choose words for the sake sounding esoteric and clever, that is until he started talking about sex, then what he meant was clearer - unfortunately; oh well, to each poet-hearer, his/her own opinion).  Saturday night we went to Rock City Cafe/Hello Hello Books to an event called, I think, "Scribble Me This."  Anyone could sign up and read and at the evening's end, a vote was held.  I thought about signing up but when we got there, it appeared the median age of the audience (and readers) was somewhere between 16 and 26 so I decided to sit back, relax and enjoy the show.  Some of the young poets' poems were quite moving.  A lot of pain, boredom with traditional teaching, and searching.

I have submitted a poem again this year to the library's poetry contest.  I had to do so rather quickly to meet the deadline, and the contest "topic" this year seemed a little odd - "doors, windows and mirrors."  My poem addressed the topic, but obliquely.  It doesn't matter since the point for me was just to put a poem "out there."  (Although I admit that having been selected for 2nd place last year, I feel pressure this year that I did not feel last year.  And this over a local library contest in a 7,500 person town in the state of Maine!! Talk about taking yourself too seriously!  Seriously!)  However, I will share the results, whatever they may be.

Next week, David's birthday, we are going to hear the Carolina Chocolate Drops, Passover here with a couple from the synagogue; the following week, drive to Connecticut and a (God willing, routine) CT scan, visiting with Helen (Indian food!), Karen and Jerry, work, and driving home; then two weeks later, Atlanta and Cello's 3rd birthday with Cello, Cachao and family.  

And somewhere in all that, beginning to plan our garden beds - tomatoes (although not so many this year), some peppers, LOTS of cucumbers, radishes, carrots (more this year), and I want Brussels sprouts!  And herbs (our thyme from last year's garden seems to have survived in our raised bed below 3 feet of snow, ice and brutal cold; it's bruised and beaten down, but I think it's alive!)

We've had a gaggle of Grackles at the feeder and in the yard lately.  David doesn't like them, but I find them beautiful; they glow in the early spring sunshine, like burnished copper and ebony marble.  This weekend at the backyard feeder I saw my first Goldfinch of the spring, together with a male and female Cardinal.  In the early morning and again at dusk the bird song in the yard behind our house where it meets the yards of neighbors either side and behind us is just amazing, a symphony.  Soon it may be warm enough to sit outside, at least in the midday sun.

Ah, spring - I do know it's just around the corner because my allergies appear to be coming back and the NCAA basketball tournament championship games - men and women - are tonight and tomorrow.

Peace.

From 1st day of Spring to (Last!) Snowstorm of the Season?

It's official:  Spring is here.  It was in the 40's on the first day of Spring, overcast and drizzling rain.  The night before David and I, and our neighbor Melissa, went to another "Birds of Spring" talk, this one at the Maine Islands National Wildlife Refuge center.  A small room, but packed butt-to-butt on chairs jammed in.  A veteran birder showed slides of many beautiful birds spotted locally, with a rambunctious interrupting crowd.  Not too long, either.  A good evening.


Now we're waiting one more snow storm.  Here in mid coast Maine we are predicted to get 1-3 inches, with Downeast Maine (counterintuitively north and east of us), getting more. But the big news is the wind, which is predicted to gust to 40+ mph here and 60+ Downeast. Blizzard warnings for Downeast.  Oh, well, I say let's get it over with.  It'll be back in the 30's tomorrow and 40's soon after that.  I'm thinking seeds and garden layout.  I'm thinking true Spring - boats back in the water, grass reviving as the last of the icky dirty icy snow finally melts, getting out our push mower, putting up a bird house.  I'm thinking Spring.

And beyond that, I'm even starting to think Summer.  Best recent news is our friend Jon is coming to visit in July, has bought his plane ticket from LA and Amtrak up to Brunswick from which he'll drive the last 50 miles.  He's staying at the same little cabin/motel place that David and I serendipitously discovered when we came up to look at houses.  It's right on the water and looks out on a beautiful cove.  The sound of waves, stars in the sky, what could be better - except breakfast at a good local restaurant the next morning!  Yeah Jon!  (The rest of you laggards who we've invited, your invitations are still good.  Come on up and visit us!  

Here's what's happening locally - once again a consecutive section of coming events from the Free Press taken more or less at random (although I admit I wanted to include that "FrogWatch" item):

Training for FrogWatch Volunteers, 5-8:30 p.m., Belfast Library, 106 High St. Belfast Bay Watershed Coalition and FrogWatch USA sponsor the free session for volunteers who want to join FrogWatch's citizen-scientist monitoring program. No prior experience is needed.
• Free Workshop on "De-Cluttering," 5:30-7 p.m., Picker Family Resource Center, Rockport. Joy Chamberlain tells how to defuse mental clutter, and then bring order to personal spaces. Registration is required: 596-8950.
• Microsoft Word: Fun with Forms, 6-8 p.m., Medomak Valley High School, Waldoboro. Teresa Johnson leads the class for those who know Word basics and want to learn how to make forms. $19. Registration: msad40.MaineAdultEd.org or 832-5205.
• Discover Your Animal Totem, 6 p.m., Evolve Sanctuary for the Soul, 39 Main St., Belfast. Todd Hanson leads the class that will explore beliefs in shamanic and Native American traditions and send participants on a journey to meet their own "power animal." $30. Sign-up: info@ToddHanson.net.


House news - in our kitchen behind the stove we have a vent.  I think it likely had a fan and a cover, but in the house as we bought it, it came as a naked vent shaft, with a pull chain to open the vent to the outside to vent smoke from the stove.  We had an idea about creating a new cover for it.  David procured plywood and cut it to size.  I penciled a drawing of a Cardinal, which David then outlined with a device that burns the wood.  He then colored the drawing.  Finally he put several protective layers of polyurethane coating, attached it to the frame he'd made, and attached it to the vent.  Here's the finished cover - beautiful, if I say so myself:

Okay, going to fill up the bird feeders for the little critters before the snow starts.

Peace.

Just another normal morning walk...

Even though I often bring my camera with me on my morning walks with Ella - as anyone who reads this blog knows from what are probably too many photos of sunrise over the Rockland harbor - this past Saturday I didn't have it with me.  Of course.  Murphy's Law.

On that morning, we got a little later start than usual.  It was warm out - about 30 degrees - and sunny and I decided to extend our walk slightly by walking down Camden Street back toward town a couple blocks before turning back toward home.  We had started down Camden Street when I heard a bird whose "song" was really unfamiliar but close and loud.  I started to look around for it, and heard the familiar "upset" call of gulls.  Just across the street from us I noticed two gulls who were flying in small circles over the top of a large tree, squawking the whole time in protest.  Near the top of the tree I saw a huge bird, the source of the unfamiliar "song."  Suddenly I realized I was looking at a Bald Eagle.  A minute later a crow flew into the tree and perched about 6-8 feet away from the eagle.  I know how big a crow is, and this eagle was so much larger!  The crow began its own "protest" call.  Another crow appeared and began darting and jabbing at the eagle in the tree.  At that point the gulls flew off.  A minute or two passed, with the two crows continuously "protesting," one from its perch in the tree, the other darting in, darting out.  Finally the eagle took off, flying over our heads where we stood across the street, and heading out toward the water.  The two crows took off after it, darting at the eagle, protesting the whole way, reminding me of a couple of dogs nipping the heels of a third dog as they chased it away.

Why couldn't I have had my camera?  There would have been plenty of time to photograph the eagle, even catch the crows' behavior and maybe a photo or two of the chase.  Lesson learned - take my camera with me in the morning.  So I had it with me this morning... but elected not to snap another photo of the ferry heading out toward Vynal Haven or the harbor water, even though in the morning sun it was glowing in shimmering silver light.

Today it was 8 degrees - feels like minus 3 - when we went out.  I hear New York to Boston - which means friends in CT - are getting snow today.  Not here, just cold, but sunny and beautiful.  

My aging bones feel spring waiting to ... spring.  Or possibly that's just wishful thinking.

Peace (in the Ukraine and everywhere).

This one's for Susan F.

I’ve been remiss about writing here lately, and have had my knuckles slapped for it (thank you Savta Susan).  I guess I worry sometimes that my posts have devolved into too many photos of “scenery” and maybe I just don’t have much to say that could be very interesting to anyone else.  Part of my absence has been due to work, which has been particularly intense for the past couple of weeks.  Then there’s also been the crazy weather.  Snow storms alternating with “heat waves” that melt the snow followed by cold snaps that turn the melted water to ice.  I think we’ve had at least 3 snow events that required shoveling since I last wrote.  I was also being kept busy going to the gym pretty regularly - until I woke up one day with a very sore knee.  That - and the weather - caused me to pace my visits a little more.  Of course, as a result of all the foregoing, I ended up with a cold this week.  So far, just a head cold but that has further slowed me down.  (Do you get the picture of an gimpy nose-blowing old woman crawling through her days… fairly close to reality.)  All right, enough self-pity.

The next to the last snow event (I’ve decided to call them “events” rather than “storms” in protest over the new trend on cable TV to name winter “storms” - apparently the one we just had was “Winter Storm Pax” ??!!), on one of my morning walks with Ella, I took a few photos.  Here they are:

I liked the way that snow clung to these two flower deadheads poking up through the new blanket of snow.

Photo of boats under shrink-wraps with blankets of snow.  It won't be that long before they start unwrapping these boats and putting them in the water.

This a photo of Ella attacking a slump of snow during our walk.  Every time it snows, one of Ella's favorite activities is to find and jump on big clumps of snow, which she then attacks with teeth and claws, tearing the clump apart and leaving little lumps of snow behind.

And here's the Rockland harbor - this is the view my heart calls out for every morning when I rise from my warm bed, cast off the blankets, pull on boots and "Stabilicers", add 2-4 layers, hat, gloves and scarf (depending on the temperature variant which has varied from -10 to 40 degrees) and walk with Ella 3/4 mile down to the waterfront to see the sun rise (if we're on time):

Last night David and I drove to Warren, ME - 11 miles south down Route 1 - and went to the Warren Baptist Church to hear a local bird expert, Don Reimer, give a talk about “spring birds of Maine.”  He writes a weekly column in our local paper, the Free Press, which I avidly read.  There are always great photos with his column.  Here’s a link to the current column:  http://freepressonline.com/main.asp?SectionID=68

Notwithstanding the title of his talk, he began with photos and some information about the “eruption” of Snowy Owls in Maine and elsewhere in the lower 48. Apparently these birds live on the arctic tundra, and because there was a super-abundance of lemmings (lemmings?) this past year, the owls give birth to more than usual young owlets (he said female snowy owls can regulate their reproductive output, if there is an abundance of food, they will lay more eggs, if less food, fewer or even none).  So because the owls up in the tundra had so many offspring last year (because of the abundance of those yummy lemmings!), some of those offspring are down here in Maine looking for food over the winter.  That’s what I understood him to say - of course, not as elegantly stated as he put it last night.

He also showed numerous wonderful photos of spring birds.  It turns out there are more than 200 species of birds that can be seen in Maine, either passing through or staying year round.  Of the +200, about 100 are birds for which Maine is either the northerly most point of their annual migrations or the southerly most point.  I learned that the red-bellied woodpecker that visited my feeder not too long ago is a fairly rare visitor to Maine - so that was exciting.  And I saw lots of photos of other birds I’ve not yet seen here (or perhaps haven't yet noticed), that now I will be looking out for.

David has signed up for a class starting Monday night at the Camden Opera House (we’ve been there a couple of times to hear music; “opera house” is a bit of a misnomer, but it seems as if it’s a center for teaching music and local musical events) to learn to play the ukulele.  He’s excited about it and about having the opportunity to play music with other people, facing his own nervousness about playing with others.  I’m excited for him.  A couple of years ago I bought a keyboard instrument on eBay and began to try to teach myself to play piano, which I admit has been a life long dream/fantasy of mine.  I got fairly well into it and then got stuck.  At a certain point, I put away the keyboard and the dream for at least a while.  Now I’m thinking that at some point, I’ll go back to it, only this time, perhaps I’ll also take some classes.  The thing is, I want to succeed this time - and I don’t think I have time right now.  Maybe this is something to look forward to doing when I do retire.

Speaking of retirement, I find myself thinking more and more of it.  This year I will be 64.  It would be very good for us financially if I could keep this job for at least 2 more years, but I just don’t know.  It gets harder.  I still enjoy the actual work I do, but the pressures feel different.  The job has changed - there has been almost a 100% change in the people in my own immediate “team”.  Only 3 of the 8 or 9 of us remain, and of the 3, I’ve been there the second longest.  I very much like the new people, but there are differences in the way we function now, and there are always new pressures and new stresses in change.  The company has changed, too, as I guess is happening everywhere.  And the changes are not necessarily all bad; in fact, a lot of it is good or at least inevitable.  That’s not the issue for me personally.  For me the issue has become: facing up to looking down the road to the end of my life and knowing my time is limited.  What do I want to do with the years, months, days and even hours I have left - especially in the short run, because NOW (versus 5, 10 or 15 years from now)  is when I have my health (a fact I am supremely aware of and grateful for every single day I wake up and get out of bed), when I am still (more or less!!!) mentally acute, (more or even less!!!) physically able.  Do I want to “use” these relatively good years tied to a desk and a job, or at least, how many of these still “good” years do I want to use that way?

But then you worry - and the TV and magazine and Internet advertisements push you to worry - can you make it financially if you retire?  It’s a Catch 22:  If you stop working and retire, will you have enough money to live on?  If you keep working and don’t retire, will you be physically and mentally able to enjoy retirement when you finally do retire?  

The one thing I believe is that we made the right decision to move here and buy this house.  It won’t be easy but I believe we can “make it” here even after one or both of us retires.  The harder part of moving here is being as far as we are from family - but we weren’t going to move to Georgia or Florida so what’s the difference.  (If flying here isn’t in the cards for family members, then there is a difference in how long the drive or train ride is, I guess.)   I hope to live long enough to have my grandkids look forward to visiting Abuela in Maine, partly to see Abuela and partly for the attractions of visiting Maine.  

Well, those are my weighty thoughts for the morning.  I need to go fill up my bird feeders - slog through the mushy, slushy, icy left over snow so the little guys will keep visiting us.  I saw a cardinal this morning, and a blue jay.  Here’s a photo I took during one of the recent snow events of the cardinal.

Peace